Yo dawg, we should jam together, ya know? Mix our beats up like some sort of crazy phat cocktail, ya get my flow? I's talkin' 'bout a car-azy rap duo, slammin' out the rhymes harder than...something that slams out rhymes...really hard...like a really heavy dictionary or somethin'.

...

*Cough*

Uh...peace.

P.S. Was there ever a wrestler called "The Poet"? Uh, dawgs?

That probably would have made for a better analogy.

ITZCOMING

Everyone listening to this will be dead within three years.
Really.
Trust me.

2012 ain't the beginning itz the end
Quetzalcoatl's return, comprehend
Poles are shifting, electromagnetic doom
Get prepared children
ITZ COMING for you

On the other side of reality, I see the new truths of life
Every woman is my husband, every man's now my wife
In the New World Order we're beyond truth and reason
Who am I kidding? Load up, itz human season

You're going to die alone when ITZ comes for you
Millenia of plotting by the ones we call the Jew
Take off your blinds in the last moment and see
They set it all in motion to kill off you and me

The decline of society, a realer reality
The televitz showing off our lethal mentality
Without Christ there's no such thing as morality
Family unit replaced with pansexuality

The Knights of Kwanstania enforce multikult
Belief in globalwarmthink borders on occult
Who needs reality? We have the 'vitz to consult
Society's destruction, now inevitable result

Your last days are dawning
The sun's zoomin in
Can't say I didn't warn you
Cause with this song I did
Even at the end you won't believe that itz true
Get ready, America
ITZ COMING for you

Did you never add it up?
Connect all the dots?
Trace it all back to their nefarious plots?
Google Ron Paul before itz too late
You have no more excuses, you can change your fate
The elite ain't on your side, they have their own mission
From the CFR to the Trilateral Commission
Watch Endgame, a film by Alex Jones
Cause all your precious leaders are reptilian clones

Took me less than a year to put together A and B
And chances are, listener, you're smarter than me
So what's keeping YOU from waking up, sheeple?
Reality's a church and I am the steeple

Mutually assured destruction? A comforting myth
Perpetuated solely by your friend Televitz
But soon you'll see what lies outside your comforting dome
When Chinese bombers drop the Fatmen over your home

Itz almost hilariously just how easy it is
To get you manboons all worked up in a tizz
A false flag here and an Oprah speech there
Wind you up as predictably as bees on a bear

Now let me tell you something
My face utterly straight
You're probably going to die
You've left it too late

But I really can't wait to watch society burn
Plutocrats and bleeding-hearts together will churn
In the Chinese butter manufacturing plant of the soul
For the rest of time to churn and toil is their role

The thing I must stress, you're all balls and no shaft
You built up a society but didn't build it to last
America had a good thing going for years
Brought down in half a century by you and Britney Spears

Feminism took over, gender roles reversed
We never thought it'd be half as bad at worst
Now it's come to a head and it's illegal to be white
Per the Diversity Enforcement Act of mid 2-oh-9

Everything you do is wrong
You're stupid little kids
You can't take me seriously
Conditioning forbids

But then, do I really mean what I say?
Or just letting my imagination wander astray?
Do I sing of nothing more than the passions in their clay?
I'll leave it down to you 'cause easy answers are gay

Your last days are dawning
The sun's zoomin in
Can't say I didn't warn you
Cause with this song I did
Even at the end you won't believe that itz true
Get ready, America
ITZ COMING for you

very rough draft, going to go over and add/change a lot. I'm rusty, and I think I've lost the rap skills I briefly might have had.

Uhh,
Hit them with a little penis preachin

[Chorus - Elton John:]
Those who wish to follow me (my penis preachin)
I welcome with my balls
And the gaping anus sinks at last onto the **** of gold
And peace to this young dicklicker without the sound of dongs

[Hatman]
If I could recollect before my gay days
I'd sit and masturbate, thinking of bliss of the good days
I stop and stare at the younger, I jerk one out to 'em
They tested, it was sex that they under
And nowadays things changed
Everyone's ashamed to the gays cause their dicks look strange
And for me it's reversed, I ****ed them with a dick that's cursed, and it hurts
'cause any day they'll lick the dick
and you all condemned like Ron Jeremy and Kirk Johnson, queer for nothing
Don't them let me get teary, my sex life is dreary
but when you wipe your dong down, see it clearly
there's no need for you to **** me
if you take your time to lick me, maybe you can learn to please me
it ain't about ass to mouth, cause we're human
I hope we have another orgy before itz comin
my penis preachin

[Chorus - Elton John]

[Hatman]
Tell me do you see that old queen ain't it sad
Likkin dirty dix, but he's glad for the little balls he has
And over there there's a lady, lack of straight men got her crazy
Guess she's given birth to a baby
I don't trip and let it lick me, from outta the frying pan
We jump into another form of slavery (the BDSM dungeon)
Even now I get discouraged
Wonder if they take my whole dong while I still keep the erection
I refuse to have sex with women
I seek asses, take control, drink my own semen
I make mistakes, I learn from everyone
And when it's said and done
I bet a life of sodomy would be a better one
If I upset you, don't stress
Never forget, that Bubba hasn't finished with me yet
I feel his hand on my dong
When I go to bed, I go blind, and let the assmaster do his thang
But am I less sexy
'cause I choose to suck a **** and slurp semen with my homies
Before we form our Dicklicker Empire
We gotta find peace and end the war for my cheeks
My penis preachin

[Chorus - Elton John]

[Hatman]
Bubba can you hear me speak!!
To pay the price of being a big dirty queer...

upcoming: Obama Obama (Re-Educate Me)