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 How to cope with being alone for a long time?

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swordandshield



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PostSubject: How to cope with being alone for a long time?   Mon Jul 14, 2014 1:15 pm

My dad is a over the road truck driver so he's gone for 4 weeks at a time, then comes home for a few days. He's taking me with him in a month or a month and a half but how do I deal with being alone for so long? I'm lonely. Sad
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Slivendiferious
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PostSubject: Re: How to cope with being alone for a long time?   Mon Jul 14, 2014 1:29 pm

You talk with friends, go out, visit clubs/ pubs, go to the movies, organize game nights/ evenings with your friends, play dungeons and dragons, write a book, read a book, buy a hammock, hit the beach, talk with your neighbors, invest time in your awesome community, watch series online, play games, try to make a painting, practice sports, go to the gym, find yourself a girl- or boyfriend, send texts/ pictures (of your food) to your dad a lot, etc.

You could try finding a job or an internship for a short time, time will fly by pretty quickly.

Basically, you need a lot of human contact.
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swordandshield



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PostSubject: Re: How to cope with being alone for a long time?   Tue Jul 15, 2014 11:19 pm

You sound just like my aunt. Sadly, I barely have any friends and the ones I do have hardly ever see me because they are too busy. I thought I had a girlfriend (and yes girlfriend for me, I'm a guy and not homosexual) but the date we had together ended pretty badly. It was on the 4th of June. She won't even be friends with me all because I didn't pay an extra 10 bucks towards dinner. Talk about shallow. I want a girl better than that. I do text my dad and talk to him on the phone but its just not the same as him physically being here. It's still better than if we didn't do that though.

As far as jobs go, I'm studying to be a computer programmer at the moment. I need my GED first though but I'm still studying computer programming on the side.

I talk to my neighbor and my landlord and his wife and daughter and her daughter who is 16 (damn too young)...but I just primarily miss having my dad around.
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Arn
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PostSubject: Re: How to cope with being alone for a long time?   Wed Jul 16, 2014 12:39 am

fap

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DoubleL

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PostSubject: Re: How to cope with being alone for a long time?   Wed Jul 16, 2014 1:54 pm

Part-time jobs or volunteering can be a good way to get you out of the house, though the former may not be tenable if you are going to be gone soon. Concerts and community events can be a good way to get out, do stuff, and be around people -even if you don't actively seek to talk to or meet anybody at them. If you're into board/tabletop games and you have a comic shop/board game store in the neighborhood, see if they have anything going on. Check out movies or plays or seminars. If your town has a website, go to it and see what sort of things will be happening in the next few weeks.

If you're religious, check out church events.

If you're really into something secular, check out conventions.

Some people like to go to bars to meet people. Personally, I can't operate in that space. Find what works for you.

Online games can be great too. Find a server based game (like TF2 or something similar) and find a server with regulars you get along with (Voice chat can help.) Maybe play an MMORPG and join a guild. Personally, I find MMORPGs to be very boring, but to each their own.

If you are looking for some sort of romantic companionship, online dating has really come a long way. While I don't have any personal experience with it, I have several friends who have had wonderful results. I would recommend strongly that, if you do choose to follow this route, don't view it as a way to obtain sex or a girlfriend. Go into it with no expectations beyond finding somebody to talk with. Be upfront about your situation: "My dad's been out of town recently and my friends have all begun moving on with their lives. So, you know, I've been a bit lonely and thought this would be a good way to meet people." You'd be amazed at how many people in what I imagine is you age group are facing the same sort of situation.


As a bit of a hermit myself, I understand how hard it can be to get out and meet new people, to go to social events and put yourself out there. Just keep in mind that no matter what your nerves might tell you, the consequences for failure are actually extremely low and usually add up to nothing more than temporary embarrassment, while the positive results can be great.
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Tenshigami
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PostSubject: Re: How to cope with being alone for a long time?   Wed Jul 16, 2014 2:43 pm

If getting out of the house is a difficult option, play video games or watch tv/movies/anime/etc to keep yourself occupied.

Talk to people online. Forums are ok, but I much more enjoy the immediacy of a chat room or instant messaging - it helps knowing that the person I'm chatting with is at their computer at that very moment and will reply as if they were in the room with me as opposed to posting on a forum which is like placing a note on a board and waiting for someone else to walk by and place another note next to it in reply (that's why another term for a forum is bulletin board system).

You could also try playing an online game as DoubleL suggested. "Alone" is really a relative term in our always-connected world. I have friends in Europe, Mexico, Canada, and some scattered across the U.S. And there's always at least one of them to talk to. I can't honestly say I'm truly alone despite being physically isolated away from all of them.

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Suikoden
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PostSubject: Re: How to cope with being alone for a long time?   Wed Jul 16, 2014 5:02 pm

As a fellow hermit, I'm just gonna echo this.

DoubleL wrote:
As a bit of a hermit myself, I understand how hard it can be to get out and meet new people, to go to social events and put yourself out there. Just keep in mind that no matter what your nerves might tell you, the consequences for failure are actually extremely low and usually add up to nothing more than temporary embarrassment, while the positive results can be great.

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swordandshield



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PostSubject: Re: How to cope with being alone for a long time?   Thu Jul 17, 2014 10:53 pm

Thanks for the advice DoubleL and Tenshigami. Sadly, I have no car so I can't really go to many places. There's places I can walk to, there's a bar close by. I live in an urban area. I can try asking my landlord if he can drive me to his church on sunday's but I don't really want to bother him.

As for online games, sometimes I play Final Fantasy 11 but it has gotten pretty boring and a lot of my friends on there have long since quit the game.

Online dating is where I found the one girl who didn't like me not paying an extra 10 dollars for dinner. Since then I've kinda shyed away from the online dating scene if there's just going to be shallow and selfish girls like that I come across. But I might give it another go and see what happens. Wish me luck. Smile

@Tenshigami I text, use yahoo messenger, skype, and facebook. I talk to an old friend I knew when I lived in Florida 4 years ago on yahoo, he was my neighbor's son. I talk to him sporadically though.
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