If you had a nuclear submarine...

Guys, I need a distraction.

If you had a nuclear submarine and a couple of torpedoes (let's assume you're puissantly rich), would you start hunting somali pirates?

I don't think "if" is the operative word here. This was slightly before your time, Sliv, but back in the olden days, me, Tenshigami, Suikoden, and Falcom owned our own personal nuclear submarine. We went on countless adventures, the four of us. Tenshigami was our leader both in peacetime and wartime, a man that could lead a grand battle against an army of 100,000 savages and then go on to read Falcom bedtime stories later that very same night. Sui was our diplomat and treasure hunter. I was the medic, not that I was needed much since Tenshi's brilliant tactical abilities ensured that injuries were rare. Falcom had more roles than anyone - freeloader, comic relief, and our resident trap... truly an amazing person.

One cold night, we emerged from the waters to find ourselves just a few dozen meters away from a beach. The beach was empty aside from Lunar Eclipse, meditating and attempting to reach a higher understanding of what it means to be a good person (something which Lunar spends most of his free time doing), the wind gently blowing through his perfect golden locks. We unloaded our entire nuclear arsenal on Lunar as a goodnatured prank - we knew it wouldn't hurt him, after all - but even though the torpedoes left him with nary a scratch or bruise, Lunar was so pissed at being distracted from his meditation that he jumped into the ocean and chased after our submarine. We just barely managed to escape with our lives...

We continued our adventures for some time after that. We never restocked our arsenal, so we were basically just a regular submarine during those final days. Our group started to fall apart shortly afterwards, sadly. Falcom met a guy from a small village named DylDogue during one of our travels, fell in love, and never set foot upon that submarine again, choosing to stay in that tiny village with Dyl. Tenshi was kidnapped by demons and dragged down to Hell during a battle of ours (he escaped within a few hours, Tenshi being Tenshi and all, but by that point Sui and I had sailed away in the submarine and he never came across the two of us again until many years later). Sui and I journeyed the world by ourselves for a few weeks thereafter, but she was so heartbroken over Fal and Tenshi leaving the group that, one day, she settled down in a distant land, the spirit of adventure having been drained from her weary bones and tired heart.

I've lived a simple life ever since... but sometimes, whenever I close my eyes, I briefly reminisce about those days we spent on that submarine.



The End

Caregiving for a grandmother that spends most of the day asleep gives me a lot of free time.

No, something as banal as pirates wouldn't do for a man of my financial stature. I'd go to the Marina Trench and search for Leviathans to combat.

@Dr. Casey

SRMS wrote:

@Ze Chef Dr. Casey
willferrell.jpg

Oh, but I can attest to this!

Y'see back in those days when the four of us were still together, the most luscious of bounties were made for consumption! Aside from wartime shenanigans, the times for our 3 square meals a day (4 fer Fal, he was a hungry lad...) were the most anticipated. Dr. Casey is quite the humble man and so it falls to me to speak of his other glorious occupation that he took upon going abroad with us, head cook! So talented was he, that he could take something as unsophisticated as starfish meat, add some red beets and mustard, and make quite the pleasurable experience for your taste buds! Rumor onboard has it that he was the one true pupil of the great master chef, Emeril. Many times I'd hear a lone "BAM!" coming from the kitchen whilst he worked, which quite frankly, leads quite the credence to said rumor...

Now Tenshi... He was quite the role mode to us younger crewmates! So precise was his intuition, that he could pluck a small line of fishing line from a great coil of anchor rope! So magnanimous was he, that he was often seen giving away his left shoe to the homeless whilst we were on shore leave. Why specifically his left shoe is still an unsolved mystery but nonetheless, he was a king among men!

Now the wee lad Falcom, has quite the colorful background! During a wretched storm so great that we had to surface and find solace by the shore, we eventually found ourselves moored to the dock of an island with great lofty peaks. Now these peaks were an interesting shade of Hawaii Aloha Aquamarine (we were nowhere near Hawaii!!!) that to the untrained eye, it might've been seen as joke but us seasoned salts, we knew something very unique dwelled here! We decided to head further inland to make shelter till the terrible tempest passed. And well, by morning, we found ourselves greeted by a very curious looking stranger who had just entered our camp! He was a platypus donned with a straw hat who simply went by P! He walked closer to us and opened the oddly moving magenta blanket to reveal to us an orange colored baby platypus! P spoke in very hushed tones and seem visibly stunned. He didn't really tell us much but what he did regale us with was terrifying! He said the tempest was actually the result of none other than the island's arch nemesis, the son of a witch named Caliban. According to P, the native platypuses were all varying hues of orange and that while Caliban was a native, he was born an interesting shade of salmon pink. He was not very happy with the natives always teasing him so he decided to get revenge in the fashion of a great tempest! Which in turn lead to the destruction of the entire populace save for the babe before us. How P knew of the events that took place here and how he got here he never divulged. 'Twould seem yet again that our sailor's knowledge proved us right! Something truly extraordinary had happened here! But alas, even though some good came of P's actions it wasn't to last... He looked at us with crestfallen eyes and told us it was no mistake that we ended up on this island and said it was fate that we take the child along with us. We knew he was a man of mystery and undoubtedly had bonded with the wee one in the short time they had together but alas, he could not take babe with him... So Tenshi in all his glory, stepped forth and proclaimed that he would be honored to take the infant with us once the weather calmed! P seemed relieved by this and bequeathed the youngin' onto him with a smile. It was truly a moving event to behold and one none of us will ever forget! And yes, that wee infant that came into our lives was none other than Falcom! Why else would Tenshi find so much joy in reading him bedtime stories?

As fer me, I was once of woman who loved a good adventure with valued compatriots! Ever did I have the eye for treasure and was almost always on the mark. ...I guess I'm the one to blame for coming up with the idea to play a prank on Lunar! At the time, it seemed to good an opportunity to miss! And yet, I was also the one who eventually reasoned with Tenshi to let our beloved Falcom follow his heart. The boy meant much to Tenshi, but in the end even he could see how taken our lil platypus Falcom was with DylDogue!

Ze Chef Dr. Casey wrote:

I've lived a simple life ever since... but sometimes, whenever I close my eyes, I briefly reminisce about those days we spent on that submarine.

You are not alone in smiling wistfully looking to the days of our incredible past!

Ze Chef Dr. Casey wrote:

Caregiving for a grandmother that spends most of the day asleep gives me a lot of free time.

And I have YOU to thank for giving me the inspiration of conjuring said material! The need to aid Sliv is a great one I must say.

To prove the point, it was Fal that chased me, not the other way around.

Watch Fal be tsundeer about it and deny that.

I am sorry for breaking your adventures guys...

When I saw the title, I was hoping you were gonna be talking about a nuclear sandwich...

While we're on the topic of epic stories...

Quote :

Taiyz wrote:
I'm back, back in the Tales Forum groove.

KaoruMitsuyo wrote:
nyahahaha~ Welcome back here ne ^_^

DoubleL wrote:
Well, you missed the giant fight against evil. Turns out the government has been watching Lunar for a while as he's actually just a sentient being formed from the combined processing power of all the members who have accessed the forum. Also, it turns out Lunar actually has a twin, a back-up really, that we'll just call Solar.

Unfortunately Solar, being a back-up, didn't have the defenses that Lunar has and soon a leak within the FBI lead a small cell of internet terrorists from west Albania to hack into him and turn him into an internet demon.

This was bad. Lunar, unfortunately, couldn't fight the new Solar demon thanks to the terrorists...upgrades. So he turned to the only people who could help him, the government. Then he was rejected -the demon seemed only to care about destroying the forum really and let's face, Namco wouldn't even step in if he had asked them- so he turned to the only people who would help.

That would be us.

And so, the next time we accessed the forum, Lunar -using advanced organic-to-digital animistic conversion processes through any accessing computer with compatible USB 2.0 ports- sucked us into the digital world he had constructed for himself and Solar to live in. Unfortunately, the world had become divided between Lunar and his minions- the moon sprites- and Solar and his respective minions -the sun sprites.

Well, most of us were pretty baffled by this, myself included. I just figured my computer had finally exploded from leaving it on all the time and had knocked me into some sort of crazy coma dream. But when Lunar appeared before us after he felt he had gathered enough troops, it was obvious that no mortal could possibly conceive of the beautiful form he had chosen for himself, truly the portrait of ancient Selene; you know, if Selene was male.

Anyways, he explained the situation to us. Solar was quickly spreading through the world, burning all he found, gaining more troops as the pages burned. By then, Forum Games had been completely destroyed which...well, actually we didn't really care. But his army was getting bigger. That was bad.

So he armed us with what he could which, I have to be honest, wasn't much. I mean, maybe it's just because I was last in line, but my stuff was junk. I got a freaking boomerang that I think was made out of plywood and some sort of grimy sword that may have been made out of a leg bone. It was messed up. I'm still a bit ticked about that actually.

Never one to delay, Lunar threw us, a bunch of computer nerds, into the fray.

Yeah.

It wasn't a very good plan, most of us died really fast. I spent most of my time running away and crying. Then of course, Solar sucked the terrorists in, so we're fighting little fire demon things and freaking terrorists and I'm hiding in a cupboard in some sort of sick facsimile of a farm house in the middle of a giant field covered in asphalt. I'm going to give credit to Solar to that place. I don't know what he was aiming for there.

Oh, luckily, it turns out the terrorists are a bunch of nerds to, so that's good. So everybody's fighting, I'm hiding, bad stuff's happening. Then Lunar and Solar start fighting at the field I'm at. I sort of wished they had picked another creepy field to fight at, because they had changed their size to rival the house I was hiding in and were fighting right next to it and it was obvious one of them was going to end up thrown into my shelter, so I got the eff out of there.

By the time I finally stopped running away from the house and turned around, both Lunar and Solar's troops had finished fighting, it quickly became obvious that the real decider would be whether Lunar or Solar won the giant grappling match.

So while I was watching this, Lunar said something about not wanting to hurt Solar and mentioned something about beating him with love and something about us channeling our love through him, I don't really remember as I was busy saying something along the lines of "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE HERE! WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE FOR NOTHING!" or whatever. Next thing I know, my legs decide they don't really feel like putting up with me anymore and the ground rushed up to comfort me.

Next thing I know, I'm waking up back in my basement covered in enough drool to fill a small fish tank and an aching head. Of course, when I went about asking everyone about what the heck happened, nobody had any idea what I was talking about, obviously everyone's been talked to by the FBI and has to keep it a secret. I'm just sort of offended that they didn't feel the need to threaten or brainwash me, but whatever, I don't really care.

Of course, it's crossed my mind that this could have just been a dream or hallucination or horrible vision of the impending future, but then where did I get this piece of junk sword and boomerang?

Also, Crash = Maxim.

Lord_Alucard wrote:
^ Uh, Wot?

and welcome back gee

braindead200 wrote:
DoubleL do I get something if I read all of that?

Sataka wrote:
holy **** butt

Crash wrote:
So, there's an epic story and I get the tiniest mention at the end? Disappointed guys!  

DoubleL wrote:
braindead200: DoubleL do I get something if I read all of that?

A headache probably.

...please tell me I'm not the only one who remembers this.

Bo Staff Katana wrote:

When I saw the title, I was hoping you were gonna be talking about a nuclear sandwich...

Anything is possible in a Sliv thread!

It's like he's a wizard (a Disney one perhaps?); his threads are the incantations which call upon and draw out the forum's creativity. The end results of said spell are always worth a read. Every. Single. Time.

Personally, I dunno how he does it....

DylDawg wrote:

Watch Fal be tsundeer about it and deny that.

He denied it!

Y'all are so cute! :3

If I had a sub sliv would come pick you up and bestow you with some of my prowess becoming a champion yourself.This is obviously belated but given one still needs a distraction we can pick up from here