Positives, negatives and everything in between fickraken

ShivKH wrote:

Neg: School thingz.

Same here, gotta meet with people I don't like for a group assignment. Also too much assignments.

I just finished a presentation with someone I really really did not like too! I have a couple more assignments and a midterm all this week, then one more midterm and I'm in the clear to start on finals weeee

Neg: Tired bordering exhaustion. Can't tell if I'm sick either and I'm not really in my right mind (wasn't last night either) plus I'm irritable.

Like last night I was trying to think of semi aquatic races and somehow I completely overlooked the manillo from the BoF games.  

Pos: Fal named one of his aeons from FF10 HD after me. I'm honored man. <3

Pos: Listening to Imogen Heap.

Suikiwiden wrote:

Pos: Fal named one of his aeons from FF10 HD after me. I'm honored man. <3

We got Slivalefor, Dogefrit, and Suicorn!

Check out dat Sliv, reminded me of that avatar of his.



Fick: Really tired.

Falcom wrote:

We got Slivalefor

Valefor is my favorite Aeon!

Well done Fal! May good fortune grace your kith and kin and your kith's and kin's kith and kin.
I would fit fayth in there somewhere but I am afraid it might look bad in the phrase.

Pos: Things are finally looking up for a friend. FINALLY. He f***ing deserves it after all he's been through.

Neg: That completely destroyed my good mood and made me all depressed because it reminded me about how completely stuck *I* still am. F*** you brain, why couldn't you just let me be happy for him. Instead you had to go and do that.

Neg: Nightmares again.

Neg: Starting to feel like I'm only allowed to exist for the benefit of other people, with no benefit left for myself once people are done with me.

Fick: I wish I didn't because I know that's not really true, but...

Neg: FML.

(There's more to why my friend's life looking up has me down but I'd rather not give it a voice because it's just completely selfish bulls**t on my part.)

Tenshigami wrote:

Neg: Nightmares again.

I've been having them for three days straight.

I haven't had them for years but this month they returned all of a sudden.

Might be a universal thing? Planet alignments or something or other.

I can't recall what they are about either.

Quote :

Neg: Starting to feel like I'm only allowed to exist for the benefit of other people, with no benefit left for myself once people are done with me.

Technically, it's the other way around. Everyone else exists for your benefit.

I can't really enter a deep discussion with you right now, and of course I don't know your situation as well as you do, but try looking at life with the idea that it revolves around you.

Because seriously, it does. It's your life. Nobody else's.

I wish you all the best.

Neg: Race against the clock to get this assignment done and done well and handed in to the physical dropbox in time, I shot myself in the foot with this one I had previous time and didn't use it, but here we go again~

@Sliv I know. I know. I'm just kind of trapped in a toxic situation right now - and against my best wishes or better judgment, getting kind of bitter about it at this point.

Basically, I'm stuck in a situation where I'm tired of being beset by demands for help when I'm already tapped out, but to even bring up my own problems that I need help with would make me feel like a gigantic asshole.

I mean what am I supposed to say? "I know Mom can't even walk right now and you constantly need my help, but please back off for a while and help me so I can focus on the things I need to do in order to get the hell out of here"?

I like to attribute life to the sense that we're all mere grains of sand amidst a great desert. While the forces of nature may toss us about; leaving many of us buried deep within dunes under countless other grains; things are not always so.

There's always a silver lining in the clouds above us; even if we can't see it buried under so much weight.

Hang in there, Tenshi.

Fick: I'm still freaking tired but my energy isn't as sapped and I'm not sneezing like I did all yesterday. I took an antihistamine that did nothing. I tried a saline spray and that didn't do anything either. I was able to apply salt water to stop the back of my throat from being all irritated, but that's it. :/

That shit was miserable. Sigh.

It's always fun to name characters in RPGs after friends or people you know. coughnameanAeonaftermebakacoughcough

@Tenshi: Oh man that's rough.

You could say you would be a better person if you aid your mother until she can walk again, but whether that's the right thing to do or not...

It might be detrimental to your (mental) health if you wait that long. It probably already is.

You could try stressing how you understand that her problems are really bad and that you would love to help her out in any way you can, but that it is also extremely taxing for you and that you also need their help.

I can't imagine your parents would want you to sacrifice your own happiness for their own.

Suikiwiden wrote:

I like to attribute life to the sense that we're all mere grains of sand amidst a great desert. While the forces of nature may toss us about; leaving many of us buried deep within dunes under countless other grains; things are not always so.

There's always a silver lining in the clouds above us; even if we can't see it buried under so much weight.

Allow me to quote a poet:

William Blake wrote:

To see the World in a grain of sand,
And Beauty in a wild flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand,
And Eternity in an hour.…

Suidoki wrote:

Fick: I'm still freaking tired but my energy isn't as sapped and I'm not sneezing like I did all yesterday. I took an antihistamine that did nothing. I tried a saline spray and that didn't do anything either. I was able to apply salt water to stop the back of my throat from being all irritated, but that's it. :/

That shit was miserable. Sigh.

Sounds like what I had last week and the two weeks before that =/
Hang in there Suiko! <3

@Sui: *sigh*

You're right. There is a silver lining to it all. A friend may finally be breaking through all the s**t that's been holding him down, and I did have at least a small hand in that through constant moral support that I willingly gave gladly.

And I still have the best friendship there that I've had in many years.

I may be stuck for the time being but I am not entirely powerless.


@Sliv:  I kind of have to help. My dad just can't handle things on his own - and in many ways makes things way worse for me because he easily gets upset over the most trivial of things. And having to deal with his s**t drives me nuts.

Unfortunately the only option I see available to me is to wait it out. Mom's next appointment is in mid-April, though there's no guarantee they'll say she can put weight on her foot yet. By then it will have been 7 months of this crap, though I suppose I should be glad winter has been a good chunk of that as winter itself would be in the way of my plans anyway.

It's funny. Until recently, moving out was more a "sometime in the future" thing in my goal of learning to drive. But now it's become practically the goal itself, with learning how to drive becoming merely a means to an end. This whole sh**ty situation has put me in a "get out while you still can" mentality.

Pos: I finally got my Driver's license

Dr. Casey, The Hero wrote:

It's always fun to name characters in RPGs after friends or people you know. coughnameanAeonaftermebakacoughcough

Say hello to Dr. Casey, everyone!


(I went Ringabel because well, it's Ringabel and he's badass!)


Many a perk comes with such a gallant occupation that is borne by him and him alone.


I totally listened to this whilst I made all of this.


Job: Spiritmaster

Job Command: Piracy

Support Abilities: Badass

• Buff Up
  

Each buff done by the caster receives an extra boost.
Upon application of a magical boon, one feels empowered but oddly retains the same physique.

• See You in Hell
  

For every kill the character makes, his attack increases! For some reason, this ability is nullified on Sundays...
For years, his friends have wondered why Dr. Casey remains relatively normal on the last day of the week...

• Natural Talent
  

For being born under the Star of Dominance, our aforementioned hero has naturally been given the boon of extra physical prowess.
Giving recompense upon those of whom have crossed you will never allow your dreams to come to fruition in the long run.

• Protect Ally
  

Any ally that is critically wounded within the vicinity of the character will always find themselves shielded from harm's way.
"I still recall what it feels like to be struck by a critical hit, but for the life of me, I can't recall what it feels like to be on the edge of death!" -Falcom

And just like any hero, he has his own special moves!


(There wasn't enough spaces to put a space in between yer name, sadly.)

• Heals Ahoy!
  

Heals the party and increases healing power for all allies.
He makes breakfast, lunch and dinner to keep you nourished. What makes you think he'd slack off now?

• Buoy to All
  

Buff allies. Speed up for the entire party.
Just like how a buoy remains ever steadfast against the oncoming currents, so is Dr. Casey with his dearest friends. Nothing will ever tear them apart!

• Long Nine Time!
  

Attacks a foe (will instantly slay undead) and increases attack for all allies.
When the going gets tough, one can always rest assured that Dr. Casey will be there...and with a huge firearm!

~~~~~~

Sliv, The Well-versed wrote:

Allow me to quote a poet:

William Blake wrote:

To see the World in a grain of sand,
And Beauty in a wild flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand,
And Eternity in an hour.…

Very eloquently put!

He Who Offers Much Needed Solace wrote:

Sounds like what I had last week and the two weeks before that =/
Hang in there Suiko! <3

Between what I made for Dr. Casey and posts like yours, this forum truly does wonders for my mood. :3

@Tenshi
It may sound incrediblllllllllllly cheesy, but friendship can really do a lot for a person.

@Harbinger
Gratz! Now you just need yer Paragon's license! All of those levels without any sort of permit could be cause for concern!

Holy hell this is a huge ass post.

I didn't even know you could rename characters in BD. I guess I just assumed they were fixed due to voice acting.

Speaking of BD I have a problem: I'm addicted to grinding due to how quickly you level up with 2x encounters and 4x battle speed. EDIT: plus growth egg.

Everyone is now lv99 with maxed out jobs aside from the single job I've yet to obtain.

Hang in there Tenshi, I agree with what's already been said and I also know how you feel though not to such an extreme. Take what time you have to yourself for yourself, is the best advice I can give. The situation is tricky and voicing that this is taxing on you too might not be a bad idea, even if there's not much anyone in the situation can do about it, I know how it is to handle someone's temper though do use your own discretion.

Suiko you are queen and almighty

I'd be all like name an aeon after me but my name's root is literally Shiva and well....Shiv would be redundant ;p

Also I survived and i also feel good about what I handed in, I understand a bad mark because I didn't give the time but I worked hard on this do I won't be surprised by a good mark either.

Dr. Casey wrote:

coughnameanAeonaftermebakacoughcough

Maybe.

Jks you wanna be Bahamut? Big ol' might Dragon befitting for the Doc.
Harbinger is gonna be Anima and the Magus Sisters will be for Abby kun.

ShivKH wrote:

I'd be all like name an aeon after me but my name's root is literally Shiva and well....Shiv would be redundant ;p

I will name Shiva after you then!

Thanks guys, I think I've got my positive-thinking cap back on.

It's not like I haven't had time to do something new that I wanted to do. Just in the past 2 and a half months or so I've learned my way through Sony Vegas and will have two AMVs for the AMV contest at Anime Expo this year - and the Mujin Wakusei Survive AMV isn't one of those. That was just my first attempt at an AMV that I will likely go back and redo later because my skills have gotten way better since then.

The one I'm currently doing I am really, really enjoying, not just because my skills have ballooned so much from working on this AMV alone but because of the song choice and that the AMV seems to have taken on its own sense of humor in my choice of clips while keeping things serious where I feel it's important.

I won't spoil the song choice or the anime but the song is not only really fun to work with, but sort of a celebration of who we are and the kind of power we hold as human beings. And I think having listened to it an uncountable number of times while working on it has really helped me keep going.

Pos: BlazBlue: Chrono Phantasma LE arrived
Pos: Another model car arrived
Neg: I'm broke till payday -_-

Fick: Just as soon as my nasal woes start clearing up, I get a huge ass sensory overload walking through the kitchen. For whatever reason, instead of getting the usual cleaning product, my dad gets some real hardcore Lysol stuff that contains hydrogen peroxide. It must've been on sale or something...

...It has the same smell one gets upon opening a cabinet full of spices; spices that have all been dowsed heavily with hydrogen peroxide. I was pretty close to tearing up man! Apparently, I'm the only one having such a reaction to it (yeah right...).

It was bad enough that we were stuck using some overly scented Glad trash bags for nearly two months, but now there's this! >.>

Neg: I did not get selected for the scholarship =(

Fick: Denmark is going to be hella expensive now.

Fick: I'll probably have to stay in the Netherlands then.

Oh well.

Pos: At least my friends are all in the Netherlands.
And what I'm studying right now is actually pretty rad. I'll get where I want to be eventually.

Pos: Feeling a lot better about things today. Enough to actually voice part of what had upset me yesterday.

My best friend's plans may have changed, but they've ultimately changed for the better, even if it means he stays in TN instead of moving here to MN this summer. Thinking or feeling otherwise would be selfish as hell and I will not allow it.

Edit: upon further thinking, yeah, this is way better. I never needed nor wanted an ulterior motive in encouraging him to keep aiming for college in the first place, and still don't. To the point that I stressed all of his other choices just as much if not more than the college located the next town over from me. He had just started aiming for that one on his own.

But if it works out, this new plan is so much better and much less of a strain on his finances. I just hope he gets the job.

NEG: HOLY F**K I AM SO F**KING PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW. I SPENT SO MANY DAYS, SO MANY NEAR-SLEEPLESS NIGHTS THE PAST SEVERAL MONTHS SUPPORTING MY BEST FRIEND THROUGH SOME SERIOUS BULLS**T AND *THAT* IS PART OF HIS PLAN?! ARE YOU F**KING S**TING ME!? I TOLD HIM OVER AND OVER AND OVER THAT NOTHING GOOD WILL COME OF IT BUT HE WON'T LISTEN. F**K IT I'M DONE. I CAN'T HANDLE IT, I'M JUST F**KING DONE.

If I can't get through to him, no one will.

Edit: Fixed to be a little less wordy.

Long story short he intends to put himself back in a situation that could very well ruin him and his plans for college despite me and everyone else telling him it's a horrible idea. His new plan is great, and I'm all for it, but this on top of it is extremely likely to ruin everything and I'm completely fed up with it and find myself not even wanting to be there to say "I told you so" for the nth time when this blows up in his face. Again.

I'm pretty much going to be a dick here Tenshi and what I'll say will bot be confortable at all, be aware.

I don't know the whole story and my opinion here might be meaningless bs but as someone that chose the wrong path a lot of times in his life I still want to say something.

Sometimes, as much as you like your friends it's better to stay away from some matters in their lives, he might make the biggest mistake in his life but it's his choosing it'll be his fault, I've learned this the hard way and making mistakes is necessary for a better life.

Let him do what he want to do, for better or wrost, he preobably have a backup plan if something goes really wrong and he know who to turn on when he need help.

Basically, stay away from this matter. It's not only making you suffer more it might make him choose something he didn't want from the start which might make things worse. Wait and see what will happen, and your other friends needs to do the same.