Positives, negatives and everything in between fickraken

FRRRRRRICK:

It's 4:00 and I'm still awake, working on a movie I have to present tomorrow.

Somewhere something went terribly wrong in regards to the educational system teaching me planning skills.

Posting on Reservia definitely helps

Falcom wrote:

Posting on Reservia definitely helps

Well of course! When procrastinating, there's nothing better than letting out our worries about having procrastinated

Pos: I have been enjoying tales of xillia 2 since I got it plus I finally got the ps vita so I can play some of the games.
Neg: Since I wanted to buy tales of hearts early in case it runs out, I have to wait til after xillia 2 to play it and basically just stare at the ps vita til later.

Neg: My 3DS is crapping out after a few years and now I need a new one. -_-

Fick: I get so bleh when I'm reminded of the fact that pretty much everyone I knew and was close with when I was younger are all out of state now. 

It wasn't until recently that I realized that my strong connection to my hometown wasn't because of the area itself but rather because of the small number of people I was close to there. Most of the people there were elitist pricks who frowned upon anyone out of the norm so there was a lot misfits who stuck together. This includes both kids and adults. I moved 10 years ago to southern Maryland and whilst I did have good friends it wasn't the same. Nothing persisted past high school. The people here are much friendlier and while my family has really old ties here it just doesn't feel like 'home' for me. I long for a place I feel like I could belong to I guess. 

Falcom wrote:

Posting on Reservia definitely helps 

Tru dat.

Pos: I'm getting a PSTV and Tales of Hearts R for Christmas.

Neg: My teacher refused to help me again so my homework grade is going to get lowered a bit. I sent him an email with my problem. He couldn't help me without seeing the file, so I send him the file and then he acts like he has no clue what my problem was. Of course he hasn't responded to the email I sent him after that.

Fick: Mom goes in for Cataract surgery today. A little worried - just kind of thinking about how things could either get better from here on... or a whole lot worse.

Double post but

Fick/Pos/Neg/I Don't Even Know Anymore: Surgery's done, and she's ok. She's got a patch on her eye right now (Yarr!... well ok not that kind of eye patch) and unfortunately she's not going to be allowed to do a lot of things for a while, but supposedly only for a month. I'm afraid of the extra strain this is going to put on everybody though. My dad stubbornly refuses to learn that the moment he lets himself get frustrated EVERYTHING GOES SOUTH and he starts passive aggressively treating me AND my mother like shit.

Dad already got lost trying to get to bloody BURGER KING of all places last night and I was stuck in the car with him staying as silent as I could because if I said ANYTHING it wasn't going to help. If he wasn't going to calm down enough to listen to the fucking GPS tell him EXACTLY WHERE TO GO, he wasn't going to listen to me either.

^ I'm glad your mom came out of it ok. That's at least one less thing worry to about thankfully. Go with the knowledge that you've got more patience than most people I know and know that such a trait is incredible. 

Neg: Yesterday sucked. Bad.

Pos: Cuddling up with my cat ftw.

Fick: My little man needs his fur brushed badly as it is getting clumpy again. >.>;

Yeah Tenshi, glad she's okay.

Fick: Felt bad about that quiz

Neg: Got 79.6 as my final mark in sales..... SO.FRIGGIN.CLOSE.

So, for the next 3 weeks I won't have internet. Going to move houses this month, so I'm gonna miss my neighbourhood. Had a good local gameshop, cardshop, and some pretty great places, and the new place is pretty empty tbh.

Only way I have internet is if I drop by school, or go on data on phone, though that goes by fast. No forums or anime for a looooooong while, because that's how 3 weeks feels.

Edit: Dragon Quest 3 on IOS. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Finally, I don't have to play a horribly done trans patch that fucks up with basic dialogue! Hurrah!

Falcom wrote:

So, for the next 3 weeks I won't have internet. Going to move houses this month, so I'm gonna miss my neighbourhood. Had a good local gameshop, cardshop, and some pretty great places, and the new place is pretty empty tbh.

Only way I have internet is if I drop by school, or go on data on phone, though that goes by fast. No forums or anime for a looooooong while, because that's how 3 weeks feels.

Your absence will be missed, my dear fellow. Know this though, you shall ever be on our minds all the while!

I wish you look in your allocation of abodes, Fal! Praise be to the almighty lord, Dr. Casey for a safe journey!

Pos: Everything is going swimmingly.

Literally everything.

Frick: I have so many batteries xD
Using remote controlled cars, helicopters and lego Power Functions modules (and Mindstorms) just eats through batteries like cray-zey.

Slivendiferious wrote:

Pos: Everything is going swimmingly.

Literally everything.

Frick: I have so many batteries xD
Using remote controlled cars, helicopters and lego Power Functions modules (and Mindstorms) just eats through batteries like cray-zey.

Needs more Lithium Polymer then.

Pos: GTAV PS4 is addicting...
Pos: MOAR model cars on the way
Neg: Speaking of batteries, I need more 3 cell Li-Po batteries for my r/c buggy...

Venom wrote:

Pos: GTAV PS4 is addicting...

How's the first person driving?

Suikiwiden wrote:

Venom wrote:

Pos: GTAV PS4 is addicting...

How's the first person driving?

Funky lol

Falcom wrote:

So, for the next 3 weeks I won't have internet. Going to move houses this month, so I'm gonna miss my neighbourhood. Had a good local gameshop, cardshop, and some pretty great places, and the new place is pretty empty tbh.

Only way I have internet is if I drop by school, or go on data on phone, though that goes by fast. No forums or anime for a looooooong while, because that's how 3 weeks feels.

You shall be missed, Falcom. On the bright side, you'll be able to marathon the rest of Kirito Steals The Show Somehow when you return.

Suikiwiden wrote:

Edit: Dragon Quest 3 on IOS. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! Finally, I don't have to play a horribly done trans patch that fucks up with basic dialogue! Hurrah!

Sigh. I really wanted an upgraded port of that for the DS/3DS.

Suikiwiden wrote:

^ I'm glad your mom came out of it ok. That's at least one less thing worry to about thankfully. Go with the knowledge that you've got more patience than most people I know and know that such a trait is incredible.

Falcom wrote:

Yeah Tenshi, glad she's okay.

Thanks you two. She has the eye patch off now, but she can't see anything out of that eye yet. There's a bubble of fluid in her eye that will supposedly dissolve slowly over the course of a month. They don't want her doing anything so much as leaning over for at least 2-3 weeks for fear of something happening with the bubble or something. They also don't want her sitting in the front seat of the car due to the passenger side airbag - if the airbag were to go off in her face (either due to an accident or just going off by freak occurrance) the impact could damage her eye.

Suikiwiden wrote:

Neg: Yesterday sucked. Bad.

Uh oh, everything ok Sui?

Falcom wrote:

So, for the next 3 weeks I won't have internet. Going to move houses this month, so I'm gonna miss my neighbourhood. Had a good local gameshop, cardshop, and some pretty great places, and the new place is pretty empty tbh.

Only way I have internet is if I drop by school, or go on data on phone, though that goes by fast. No forums or anime for a looooooong while, because that's how 3 weeks feels.

Egads, 3 weeks without the Falafelmeister?! Surely this must be Hell.

Slivendiferious wrote:

Pos: Everything is going swimmingly.

Literally everything.

Literally? Are you living under the sea? I guess everything IS better down where it's wetter.

--------------------------------------------------

Pos: Despite the things that are going on I'm actually feeling pretty ok right now. Work has been annoying in that it's been hard to get away from it. I've been working 9 hour days but only paid for 8 hours due to being on salary.

But it's surprisingly more tolerable. The guy we hired that will supposedly be my replacement when they move me to a development position is a really good worker and I've hardly had to train him. Just having two of us doing the job that used to be me alone has made it so I feel like I can actually keep up with the constant demands, and by putting our heads together we can actually filter out the insanity of my boss and figure out ways to get things done that are far more efficient than the bullshit we're often asked to do.

I still get really stressed out at times but to be honest my work situation is the best it's been in a while at the moment.

I'm not yet truly content with where my life is right now, but y'know what? Aside from my mom's situation, things aren't really all that bad at the moment.

My mind just feels really clear right now. I'm not entirely free of worry or doubt, but it's more a light tugging feeling than a crushing weight.

This is like the complete opposite of how I was feeling even just this morning, and I don't even know why.

Taiyz wrote:

Sigh. I really wanted an upgraded port of that for the DS/3DS.

I know what ya mean. I'd take a port to 3DS any freakin' day. It plays nice and everything but damn is the port's aspect ratio tiny....

Tenshigami wrote:

Uh oh, everything ok Sui?

I thought about just how much the odds are against me with doing what it takes to be happy in life, yesterday. That nasty realization left me feeling a lot of fear. Being realistic about my aims hit hard but not to the point to where I'm just gonna say screw it and give up.

After all, the greatest things in life never come easy and with that knowledge right there I feel empowered. The last 2 years of my life have been full of happenings I never saw coming. Those amazing radical changes really annihilated my fatalistic assumptions of my life and my future right into the dust. I truly realized anything can happen.

One change was my sister coming into my life. If someone had told me that after 22 years and having no clue as to where my siblings were that I'd not only establish connections with both and meet one of them, I'd scoff in their face. I was firmly convinced that opportunity had closed years ago but nooooooooooope I was totally wrong! Somehow against all odds and shitty relatives getting in the way it happened!

So whilst I'll be realistic and not get my hopes up to ridiculous levels about potential future prospects, I'm not going to let that stop me from trying.

Tenshigami wrote:

Literally? Are you living under the sea? I guess everything IS better down where it's wetter.

Turns out Sliv's been a merman the entire time! Very tricky, that one....

Tenshigami wrote:

Pos: Despite the things that are going on I'm actually feeling pretty ok right now. Work has been annoying in that it's been hard to get away from it. I've been working 9 hour days but only paid for 8 hours due to being on salary.

But it's surprisingly more tolerable. The guy we hired that will supposedly be my replacement when they move me to a development position is a really good worker and I've hardly had to train him. Just having two of us doing the job that used to be me alone has made it so I feel like I can actually keep up with the constant demands, and by putting our heads together we can actually filter out the insanity of my boss and figure out ways to get things done that are far more efficient than the bullshit we're often asked to do.

I still get really stressed out at times but to be honest my work situation is the best it's been in a while at the moment.

I'm not yet truly content with where my life is right now, but y'know what? Aside from my mom's situation, things aren't really all that bad at the moment.

My mind just feels really clear right now. I'm not entirely free of worry or doubt, but it's more a light tugging feeling than a crushing weight.

This is like the complete opposite of how I was feeling even just this morning, and I don't even know why.

You, sir, have no idea how relieving is to know that yer feeling such a drastic change since this morning. Like omg.

Tenshigami wrote:

Slivendiferious wrote:

Pos: Everything is going swimmingly.

Literally everything.

Literally? Are you living under the sea? I guess everything IS better down where it's wetter.

Well to be fair, the average altitude of my country is 10 metres BELOW sea level.
And my parents live right next to the neighborhood that has the lowest altitude of the entire country.

Suikiwiden wrote:

I thought about just how much the odds are against me with doing what it takes to be happy in life, yesterday. That nasty realization left me feeling a lot of fear. Being realistic about my aims hit hard but not to the point to where I'm just gonna say screw it and give up.

I know how you feel all too well. So often everything I want to accomplish in order to be happy just seems impossible, especially because it feels like I'm trying to accomplish these things 10 years too late. Too many times I've fought against the thought, "Just stop. You're out of time. Give up already."

Suikiwiden wrote:

After all, the greatest things in life never come easy and with that knowledge right there I feel empowered. The last 2 years of my life have been full of happenings I never saw coming. Those amazing radical changes really annihilated my fatalistic assumptions of my life and my future right into the dust. I truly realized anything can happen.

I unfortunately don't really feel all that empowered, but... it'd be so easy to just give up and go back to being who I was a few years ago, before I started posting on TSF and before I came back into contact with old internet friends from a decade ago. But I don't want to - I was an asshole! Not to mention that being a shut-in who bitterly curses everyone and everything and just wants to bury himself in video games isn't sustainable. I started realizing that when my current job cut down my free time considerably (need a job to buy games - don't have enough time to play them) and I'm seeing that even more with so much clear evidence of my parents failing health. I don't want to give up my gaming habits entirely, as they're a huge part of what makes me 'me'.  But I need to get myself in a position where I can live on my own and fully support myself. I can't stay where I'm at forever, and I wasn't happy the way I was, either.

Progress has been slow, but I know I can do it if I keep at it. Currently, I'm still not really happy with where I am, but I'm happy with who I am. And that's more than I could have said about myself a few years ago.

Suikiwiden wrote:

One change was my sister coming into my life. If someone had told me that after 22 years and having no clue as to where my siblings were that I'd not only establish connections with both and meet one of them, I'd scoff in their face. I was firmly convinced that opportunity had closed years ago but nooooooooooope I was totally wrong! Somehow against all odds and shitty relatives getting in the way it happened!

That truly is one of the most amazing things that can happen. After years of being totally pessimistic (or even cynical) about something you're finally proven wrong.

Suikiwiden wrote:

So whilst I'll be realistic and not get my hopes up to ridiculous levels about potential future prospects, I'm not going to let that stop me from trying.

That's the spirit! Things may not always go your way, but give it all you've got! And while there's only so much I can do from across the net, don't forget that you've got my support, and the support of others as well.

Tenshi, you are a true bro, man!

Oreo: ...My phone is evil. I can live with the completely random hilarious autocorrects it likes it do but not this latest stunt. >.>;

In hindsight I'm laughing about it but good lawd I wanted to die at the time.

Suikiwiden wrote:

Tenshi, you are a true bro, man!

I don't really think that's entirely true, but thanks.

Suikiwiden wrote:

Oreo: ...My phone is evil. I can live with the completely random hilarious autocorrects it likes it do but not this latest stunt. >.>;

In hindsight I'm laughing about it but good lawd I wanted to die at the time.

Ahaha oh dear. The fact that some phones learn from your previous text entries and will adapt autocorrect to that only makes such situations worse (and potentially more frequent).

------------

Neg: Bad case of the Mondays this morning.

Fick: I just want to take this time to say... Thanks for putting up with me. I know I can go on about the same shit repeatedly here in PNF when I'm upset,  but I've been thinking about that and I realize that I do it because I need to. I need an outlet or I'll just bottle things up where they'll only affect me more.

Neg: Wow my schedule is just completely out of whack.

Pos: School is almost over for me!

Neg: Still have a final to do!

Neg: ComSci Final didn't go so well. Have to brace myself if I need to retake the class.

Neg/Fick: One more final, but Psychology which I can prolly do better than ComSci

Pos: Someone helped me with what to study for this final. Really grateful and cheered me after that brutal comsci final.