Positives, negatives and everything in between fickraken

Arn wrote:

Tenshi did you thought of going to a therapist

That's potentially part of the goal, honestly. But I can't really get to one on my own. I think a lot of things are hanging on me being able to get three simple words out to my family - the people around me offline. Three incredibly simple words that seem so impossibly hard to say out loud, "I need help."

I'm still doing ok right now, but I know if I continue doing nothing about this, I won't be.

Well, mom has surgery today for her stomach cancer, hope all goes well.

Hope your mom will gt better. My mom also experienced that illness, butit was never detected back in thw Philippines. However thanks to Canada's medical services we get to know about it and she thankfullY got better. That's why im grateful to Canada and gladly pay the medical taxes we get.

Falcom wrote:

Well, mom has surgery today for her stomach cancer, hope all goes well.

Best of luck. I wish her strength to persist, survive and arise stronger

Pos: Mommers got discharged and is pretty fine now, home now and is relaxing and still doing housework... stahp.

Thanks guys!

Falcom wrote:

Pos: Mommers got discharged and is pretty fine now, home now and is relaxing and still doing housework... stahp.

Thanks guys!

Good to hear!

So this happened. A theater in the area streamed the last performance on Sunday (I hear recordings will be going out to theaters later), and aside from a reality TV blackmail sketch that felt about as un-Python as you could possibly get, it was marvelous. It was done in what was clearly a sports stadium- the stage was several times larger than the backdrops for the non-musical sketches. Most of the all-time classics were there, a couple with 21st-century updates that only complimented.

Tenshigami wrote:

Neg: Anxiety hit this morning for the first time since returning from my vacation. I feel really shitty right now.

This... isn't good. I really need to talk to my family about all this, but every time I try to talk to my parents it comes out wrong and/or I wind up hiding most of what I need to say. I think I need to contact my brother tonight. Not through voice call - just text. I know through experience with you guys and with other friends that I can more easily get out what I need to say in writing. If I try to voice it I just seem to get choked up on my own words and I start dodging around what i really want to say in order to get something - anything - out.

I was meaning to post on this last week, I'm not as far along in the process, but I am feeling a shade of "When does real life begin?" right along with you two.

Talking in writing is indeed easy, and it reminded me of its older brother; have you tried writing down what you want to say in person?  Even if you have to physically bring the paper/pad into the room, just so you get something of substance out and your nerves are not the only thing carrying what you want to say?

Is it a fear of actual change, maybe?  That's been a tug in my mind in past- you tell yourself a change has to happen, but that change likely requires blunt talk and change, but you're so adjusted to wherever you're in stasis that a real change is scary or just disruptive.  Then you feel really petty for defending your lot and it repeats.

Harbinger wrote:

I understand that it was an old game... but there's also a reason why I can't stand most older games! I don't like picking on graphics, but Lloyd's (derp) face made it really hard to take any serious scene... seriously.

Symphonia has 6 dungeons too many and crams at least half of them in the last third of the story.  Love the game dearly, but anyone calling it a slog is right.

The lack of patience for older games always makes me wonder...   Most of the regulars of this board are young enough to have started gaming full-blast on the 6th-generation (2000-2006) consoles- even if Symphonia is a special case, being a transitional game, its still a part of that modernity.  Or that could just be me, I had a Game Boy Color when I was 7, and had no nearby family or family friends that played games- these stories of people my age playing NESs at 5 confound me.    Honestly Sliv has a point, almost everything about Dawn is so much more modern-feeling than Symphonia that you do have some people who like it more simply because they don't feel like their stepping as far back in game design time.  I'm not taking offense or anything of the sort, don't mind me!  I was just part of a thread about that on another forum earlier today and having the conspiracy Keanu moment realizing that from here on out, the vast majority of the sum total of all video games will be left to obscurity because younger players can't bring themselves care. Nothing wrong with that, its entertainment, and there are too many of them for one to really play truckloads of older and newer stuff simultaneously.

But to point, at best you can take it as a sign of the form maturing, there is both so much content and the media has last so long for older stuff to become offputtingly-dated, like literature.  On the other, while the vocabulary and historical context of a book or movie do date it, all video games are inputs on a screen toward a goal (or result, to qualify something like Sims or Animal Crossing).

Falcom wrote:

Pos: Mommers got discharged and is pretty fine now, home now and is relaxing and still doing housework... stahp.

Thanks guys!

That's awsum!

Stagnation of the human psyche is a truly vile poison. To counteract the damage done by the venomous fangs of doubt is to battle with yourself. While searching for an effective antidote can be difficult just know that you have the upper hand in the conflict. Where and how you administer it is up to you as there are countless ways to both build and apply a remedy.



Neg: Overcoming the worries of looking incompetent in light of the expectations of being an adult is damn terrifying. Seriously hate how my upbringing turned out sometimes. The shitty part is that a lot of the time things were simply out of anyone's control and I was left to guide myself.

Fick: Didn't contact my brother yet. I'm probably being stupid about it and it's probably just a way my mind is justifying putting it off "for now" (which I've noticed tends to happen indefinitely) but I figure if I do talk to my brother about stuff he's not going to wait relaying everything back to my parents and I don't want that kind of extra stress in the middle of the work week. These people have to take me to work and sh*t and it'd make the ride to work completely unbearable as I'd be stuck alone with my dad in a car likely getting asked stressful questions on the way to a stressful job. That or the ride would be full of awkward stressful silence.

Weekend might be a better idea.

Pos: I am feeling better about things today though. Yesterday might have partly been an extreme case of the Mondays.

Neg/fick: I was thinking about things last night and I really miss the more outgoing part of myself during my teens that could crack jokes and make people laugh. I used to do random funny voices and stuff - it was just part of my personality. But I find that while I still can, I don't. I guess because it's not the "adult" thing to do? I don't even know.

I mean I'd never do it at my job, but I don't even act that way around friends and family anymore. *shrug*

Neg: My PS3's file system got corrupted yesterday. It is gonna take a few days for me to restore all the crap I had on it. I have never been more glad that I have PSN+ to backup all my save games...

NEG: Oh God. I don't. What just. Urrrgh.

Some shit just happened with a friend and there's nobody on Skype right now that I feel comfortable talking with about it.

This is not a friendship I want to lose and just urrrrrgh. Feeling like I just lost a war, here.

Pos: I just beat "adventure mode" including Heroic Instance in Hearthstone "XPAC".
Neg: I ran outside today after eating and I did not feel good.

NEG:  REALLY F***ING PISSED OFF this morning or maybe just the second stage of grief.

For the second time in my life a best friend possibly just up and vanished without a trace and will never log on again. I would have been ok with it if he had said it was because he needed the extra time to focus on more important things. He's been looking for a job for ages and he's always had my full support in that.

But no. Instead his reasons are flat out stupid and petty and seriously what the f*** just happened yesterday. Did I have to reject the rest of my friends in order to stay friends with you or something? What the F***, buddy.

Fick: Stuck with my old man in the car for an hour and he's all wound up for some reason. He keeps asking embarrassing questions about a certain someone and he won't stop trying to turn the radio on! I love my father dearly but he has a weird taste in music... >.>

Backwoods hick French Canadian folk music being only one of those weird things...No offense to anyone who likes that genre ofc.

Pos: He's being such a huge dork with random comments at things we're driving past that I can't stop laughing. My family is weird. xD

Pos: I'm liking Disgaea 2 so far, but I prefer the D4 cast (for the moment). The main character is a bit annoying right now.

Neg: It's 2 AM and I have no intention of sleeping.

Since when do we have TWO Pos Neg Fick topics? xD

what happened?

and why does merging them fail?

Wow I didn't notice .__. Hmm also looking for a way to merge them...

Neg: Gotta get blood drawn this morning. D:

Neg: Power went out in my apartment yesterday evening as I was getting ready for work. Power still isn't on -____-
I got crap to download and games to play dammit... Tethering on my phone can only go so far...
Rage.

POS: friend is back online now and everything is right in the world! (Well ok not everything in the world but everything in that regard.)

I guess all he needed was a day alone to think about things and he realized how stupid he was being to everyone else, all because he was extremely bitter about stuff that wasn't even their fault.

Double post but...

Fick: didn't sleep very well last night and kept waking up, but somehow feel well rested.

Fick: Have an email written up and ready to send to my brother. I'm surprised with how easy it was to write. Usually when I try to get everything on paper that I can't get myself to say out loud, I start rambling on for pages and pages.

But no, I was able to be fairly short and to the point that I'm not really doing well, I've been having a really hard time for the past year and desperately need support, and here's why.

Now the only problem left is getting myself to stop hovering over the "Send" button tonight and actually click it. lol...

Pos. I got six extra dollars to spend on the Playstation Store, so I'm looking for a good PS1 RPG to buy. What would you guys recommend? Right now I'm looking at Legend of Dragoon, Wild Arms and Breath of Fire IV.

http://chichichichipndale.deviantart.com/journal/My-god-It-s-full-of-anime-girls-469123609
http://chichichichipndale.deviantart.com/journal/I-think-Luc-Besson-stole-my-brain-470820300

Neg:  I'm scared.